Wow...on the edge of the precipice...on the eve of a journey i cannot fathom…
I am filled with more feelings than words can express. Sometimes floating at the surface, like a tethered buoy in a vast storm, being tossed to and fro. Sometimes sunken way down into the depths and darkness of my soul…But always surrounded by the vast network of support and incredible LOVE that my family and community have showered upon me, like spring rain in the desert after a long dry winter…
Thank you. Such small and humble words to try and encompass the scope of gratitude; tears pour down my cheeks as I type these words; tears of fear and pain, grief and sadness. But also tears of profound love and gratitude. As I navigate these emotions, so much work undone has arisen in my soul, offering me the opportunity to go deeper into myself, my wounds, my emotional healing, than I ever imagined possible. Death is a powerful teacher, as it comes close, illuminating how brilliantly beautiful this life is. How profound the depths of love. How powerful the desire to continue.
Fierce is an adjective that has often been used to describe me; yet, now I feel so vulnerable, raw and tender. But I am also fierce; and I am summonsing all that strength and power to face this challenge. I profoundly want to continue to serve this beautiful planet, my children, my community. And so, I will fight and surrender. I will push through, and rest. I will be soft and flexible, like water; and hard and steadfast, like stone. I will call upon all the fire of love that burns fierce in my heart, as I do all I can to survive. And I am so grateful for all of your prayers and love to help carry me through.
Folks are asking how to help, so here are a few ways:
Please join in remotely from where you are at 5:45 PM as a small group of friends and family gather to have a blessing and fire ceremony for me tonight, Feb 8. It will go until 7. Please light a candle, say your prayers, chant your mantras and sing your songs to the Great Mystery, to hold me and guide me through this journey.
Tomorrow, Feb 9, I go into the hospital at 6:30 am. At 9 the surgery begins, and I will offer my beautiful breasts, which have nourished my 4 children and brought me abundant joy, as a prayer for the healing of our species, to recognize that our ways upon the Earth are poisoning our home, our relatives, our selves. It will be about a 4 hour process; I invoke you to please light candles and make prayers during that time, and throughout the next 24 hours. It will be the voices of you all that call my spirit back to myself in these realms.
Please join the Meal Train. I will not be able to do anything for a couple of weeks, and Madison and Devin and my children will be responsible for my care, as well as the care of our little farm. So please help support the healing process by signing up to bring delicious food to nurture our nest through this transformative time.
If you can, please donate to the GoFundMe campaign. This entire process is costly, and I will be out of work for months.
Again, I thank you all. The words of love and encouragement, the financial support, the beautiful handmade gifts and love offerings, have filled my soul with such profound validation and purpose. I thank you, forever and into the great beyond, I sing a song of gratitude in my heart for each of you….i love you.
An avid & sometimes obsessed & sometimes nomadic & always wild fermenter & culture shifter...find her scampering in a forest near you!